Where Are You?
A decade ago, I was sitting in an icy conference room in Pasadena, California, alongside a cohort of eager, bright coach trainees. We were there to learn the tools, techniques, and coaching moves that would help our clients.
You can imagine how surprised I was when our coach trainer’s first question was, “Where are you?”
Instantly, the question caught me off guard. I was there, physically, but my mind was somewhere else. I was daydreaming about what they might serve for lunch that day. I was anxious about the e-mails burning a hole in my inbox. I felt confused, maybe even a little annoyed.
I had no idea that this simple question would change the trajectory of my coaching journey forever.
Because that question was pointing to something much deeper.
Most of us spend much of our lives in our heads, planning and forecasting the future or analyzing the past. We’re stuck in stories we create, perpetually distracted, rarely fully here.
What I discovered that day was that there was another place to occupy: the present moment. A natural human state that we can all access, one that has a profound impact on us as coaches and our clients.
As one of my coaching heroes, the late Doug Silsbee, defines presence as an internal state: the inclusive awareness of stillness, possibility, and immediacy. It is the precise awareness of our present-moment experience.
From this state, we can be of ultimate service to our clients. We can witness and facilitate awareness of our situational context and habits. We can invite greater self-awareness and open space for new possibilities, actions, and insights.
So next time you enter a coaching conversation, pause and ask yourself, “Where are you?” Then choose where you want to be. Find your way back to presence, where consciousness flows, and you experience a state of connection, clarity, calm, and a felt sense of aliveness.
I look forward to seeing you all at our next educational event, where we will dive deeper into this meta-competency and explore how it can enhance our coaching effectiveness.
Chris King
2026 President, ICF Iowa Chapter